TTR: The Stages of Change & The Recovery Wheel
The Stages of Change outline the processes people go through when making changes, such as recovering from an addictive behavior. But it is also an excellent model for assessing any situation or condition, especially in a relationship. Make sure you are in the same stage with your partner as you go through the process. If one of you is in the action stage and your partner is in the contemplation stage, then communication will become strained and risk of dysfunction will be high.The Elephant in the Living Room: It is also critical to know that no matter how serious you are about saving your relationship, when one or both of you are caught up in an addiction, ignoring it is like ignoring an elephant in the living room. It will sabotage you and wreck your efforts to change. You MUST think of dealing with addiction as taking "first things first." But if addiction is not an issue, use the stages below for any challenge you face and work through them together.