TTR: the Distance Pursuit Game

Distance Pursuit games are dysfunctional relationship patterns caused by impaired abilities to maintain a healthy separateness and connectedness in relationships. Distance & Pursuit patterns are programmed Drama Triangle strategies used to control or regulate the safe-distance between each other in a relationship. As already mentioned, it is healthy to have some separateness in the relationship in order to preserve a sense-of-self. The healthy way to regulate that distance is to set healthy boundaries by saying, hearing and accepting the word “no”. Our abilities to connect are typically set by our primary attachment figures. We must heal childhood wounds to develop a secure attachment style. Distance and Pursuit dynamics are developed in our source relationships through the following ways: 1. When our attachment figures model impaired separateness and connectedness. 2. When one parent "swallows up" or engulfs the child. 3. When addicted parents are unreliable: there for us one day, but not then next, etc. 4. When parent is depressed or otherwise emotionally compromised. 5. When one or both parents are abusive. 6. When it is not OK for a child to ask for what he or she needs. 7. And a myriad of other dysfunctional dynamics in primary attachments. [Download the Attachment Styles Therapy Card]